The Cat
by Ern
Summary: The history of Filch and Miss Norris


Hello. This is my first fan fic in 6 months, so forgive me if it sucks. Of course I don't own any of these characters. Just the story line, but I'm not proud of it or anything. I was just pondering the history between Filch and Miss Norris today waiting at the doctor, so… uh, this isn't supposed to be serious, so don't take it seriously. Thanks. 

The Cat

Harry, Hermione, and Ron were sitting on logs around a purple fire with Dumbledore sitting on a log across from them in the woods somewhere. Dumbledore's wearing a set of robes with Christmas trees all along the bottom. Harry, Hermione, and Ron are shivering and warming their hands by the fire. 

"Dumbledore, it's Christmas and it's 10 degrees below zero. Why are we out here?" Hermione asked, her voice shaking.

"Yeah," Ron and Harry said at the same time. 

"Ah, because I must tell you a story," Dumbledore said taking a big breath and clasping his hands together. 

"Better be a good story," Ron grumbled hunched over on the log he was sitting on. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat and began.

* * * * *

Once upon a time, there was a witch and a wizard who were very much in love. They decided to get married and have a child. When they did, they named their new little boy Argus Filch after his great grandfather. Argus always seemed sort of a plain baby. The parents decided to go to the wizard hospital to see if he was magical or not. He wasn't. 

"NOOOO," his father threw down his wand and it shot a spell accidentally at Argus. He turned into a little kitten.

"Aww," his mother cooed. "Where did the cute little kitty come from? Where's Argus?" 

His father sighed. "Let us go home Anne." And his father picked Argus up and led his wife out the door. 

Argus lived as a cat for 20 years. In that time, he began to take interest in a teenager next door. She was very pretty. Her name was Agatha Norris. Argus always followed her around when she was outside. She was very kind to him. She gave him food and attention that he wanted from her.

Argus' parents were deciding that they didn't want Argus to be a cat anymore because they wanted their child back. They had found the curse that had turned Argus into a cat, and then they found the reverse affect of that curse that would turn him back. They decided to do the spell the next day. 

Argus was outside playing with Agatha. His mother leaned out the back door and yelled, "Argus! Come!" Argus playfully took Agatha's bracelet and ran to the house. His parents grabbed him up and put him on the table. His father shouted the spell.

"Argus took my AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Agatha had walked in at that very moment. She became a very beautiful cat. 

Argus sat staring on the table. She had scared Argus' father when she had come in to the kitchen. He had flinched, and Agatha had turned into a cat. Argus' father tried to undo the spell, but it wouldn't work. Argus got off the table and put the charm bracelet around Agatha's neck. He kept her as a pet.

The next day, of course, Albus Dumbledore came to the house. He sat down with Argus' parents, Argus, and Agatha the cat in the living room. Dumbledore spoke softly. "No spell can reverse Agatha's condition because the spell had such strange effects. I have put a memory charm on Agatha's parents, so they do not remember having Agatha as their daughter. But, Argus, as I see that you are of age, would you like a teaching job at Hogwarts Academy?"

Argus tilted his head to one side. "Do I have to teach?"

* * * * *

"And the only thing he would do was be a keeper of the castle," Dumbledore howled through laughter. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were laughing hysterically. Ron fell off the back of the log holding his sides.

"That's so ….horrible," Hermione breathed wiping tears off her eyes still chuckling. Harry nodded still laughing.

"Isn't it?" Dumbledore said holding his head laughing. "Ah, it's actually a much happier story."

"I like this version better," Ron said through laughter from the ground. 

Ok. I know that's as mean as you can get, but it seemed kind of fitting to Ron and the others. May be not Dumbledore though. It wasn't meant to be serious at all, so don't hate me or flame me for taking it the wrong way. The comic relief is supposed to be the end. So forgive me. And if you do still want to flame, just don't bother reviewing because that hurts my feelings . Thank you. Gosh. I talk a lot in these things. 


End file.
